5 Lessons I’ve Learned On My Journey To Adulthood
From overcoming self-doubt to grounding my identity in Christ, here are 5 essential lessons I’ve learned on my journey to adulthood.
When I first wrote this post, I was 21 years old. I opened with, “I guess I’m finally an adult now! But I guess if you’re law enforcement, you would’ve considered me an adult when I turned 18, but the majority of the population still looks at me like I’m a kid. I still have people calling me “young one” and “baby”, even though I’ve been fending for myself for years now.
With everyone around me telling me I’m still a kid, I had to take a long hard look at myself. Am I? What classifies someone as an adult that I’ve not yet accomplished? These questions led me to a realization.”
Yes, those questions sure did lead me to realizations, and even today I continue to look back and see more and more of what God wanted to teach me. He’s provided me with some serious wisdom in a few short years, and I’d like to share that wisdom with you here.
I know a lot of “adults” who are more like children in how they behave and handle their emotions than I’ve ever been. I’ve learned a lot in my 23 years (as of 2026) on earth, and some of the things I’ve learned still don’t seem to be known by people in their 50’s. So, I put together this list of life lessons I’ve learned on my journey into adulthood. Maybe you’ve learned them by now yourself, maybe you haven’t. We all have our own unique story that guided us to where we are today.
Every single one of these lessons I’ve learned on my journey to adulthood came with its fair share of trial and error. But looking back, I can clearly see how God used every closed door, difficult conversation, and mindset shift to shape my character and draw me closer to Him.
Note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only link products I actually love!
1. Forgiveness is essential!
Hopefully you won’t just skip over this life lesson because you have someone you don’t want to forgive right now. Forgiveness is essential as a Christian, so please stay and read this one all the way through. Whether you need to forgive abusive parents, or heal from other past wounds, forgiveness is a critical step to your new life of peace. We would do well in this world if everyone realized that.
Now, I know just as well as anyone else that forgiveness can be an incredibly hard thing to do. Learning to let go of hurt was one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned on my journey to adulthood. It took me years to achieve, and at one point, I never thought it would be possible due to everything I had gone through.
When you refuse to forgive someone who hurt you, you’re not accomplishing anything. You’re likely not even hurting the person you’re holding forgiveness from. All you’re doing is holding onto the pain they’ve caused and growing hate and resentment in the process. And guess what? That hate and resentment won’t just stay cooped up for the one person who hurt you, it’ll spread to others who haven’t. You’ll begin to see the world in a darker, less positive light when you continue to refuse forgiveness, and you’ll begin assuming the worst of people around you.
Choosing to forgive someone who hurt you will set you free from hate, pain, resentment, and so much more. You’ll have a massive weight lifted off your shoulders to the point you’ll finally be able to breathe again. Like, really breathe. To smile, and to enjoy life without feeling upset, guilty, or letting the past ruin your joy.
To read more on the power of forgiveness, why it matters, and who it’s for, check out my post Forgiveness: Why You Need To Let Go Of Grudges. This is one of my top two favorite life lessons learned, so I’ve done a lot of writing on it as you can see. Have more questions? Feel free to comment on one of my posts! I’d love to connect.
Need help on your journey to forgiveness? Learn more about my 1:1 coaching services.
2. God really does move in mysterious ways.
Have you ever had a door in your life close, and at first, you felt like the world was ending? Maybe you wanted a job but didn’t get hired, or you wanted a loan for a new car, but couldn’t get approved. Well, it’s things like that—in my opinion—that show just how much God loves us and how he works.
Another example could be that you have a relationship end just so you can find your soulmate. Or, you struggle to get pregnant but then become a foster mom to multiple kids in need. In any of the scenarios that come to mind, you likely look back and think to yourself that you wouldn’t have it any other way.
I believe with all of my heart that in moments like that, it’s God working in your favor to put you on the path you need to be on. It’s Him protecting you long-term, since He can see the future repercussions. Learning to trust His timeline has been one of the most transformative lessons I’ve learned on my journey to adulthood, and I hope you’re able to notice these moments in your own life and thank God for them when able!
3. You are as capable as you think you are, and then some, thanks to God.
Before I explain what I mean, do you want to know who gave me this idea? I’ve talked about him so much it isn’t even funny, but it was Arnold Schwarzenegger. Don’t shake your head, because I’m serious! Have you ever heard him talk? He is such an inspiration. I don’t have idols, but I definitely like to hear what he has to say.
If you put your mind to something and you really try, you can do it! Now obviously I don’t mean you could fly or jump ten feet high, but if you decide you want to start your own business or travel for a living, all you have to do is really want it, try (put in the effort), and not give up. Keep yourself motivated in any way possible.
It’s likely that you’ll end up surprising yourself with what you can accomplish when you just put your mind to it and set goals! If it’s God’s will, He will make a way. All He needs is a willing heart. He just needs someone willing to put their head down and keep moving forward, and He can make the impossible, possible! He CAN use you, and you ARE capable, because He MAKES you capable (2 Corinthians 3:5–6)!
4. Adults aren’t always who you think they are.
Okay, I shouldn’t put all adults into a box, I know. Not all of them are the same. But I’ve met enough of them to know that there are quite a few out in the world who really are let-downs.
That sounded harsh; I apologize.
The truth is, when I was growing up, I always got annoyed at the drama, lies, and pettiness that was around me. I wore a black sequence skirt to school one day with a black sparkle-covered shirt to match, and a girl ran up to me and snarled. She said, “Quit wearing all black and trying to run all over people and tell them what to do.” Did you cock your head to the side and think what does that even mean? Me too. How does my outfit equate to me trying to rule over people? My point is, I was tired of not being able to be myself, have serious relationships or conversations, and I just wanted to be around calm, mature, interesting adults.
Oh – I couldn’t wait!
Navigating social dynamics and learning who to trust are key lessons I’ve learned on my journey to adulthood. I realized that age doesn’t automatically mean maturity—being an adult doesn’t suddenly make you kind, calm, or honest. True maturity is an intentional choice, not an age milestone.
The Hard Truth I’ve Learned
If I had a dollar for every time an adult lied to me or even about me as I was growing up, I’d have a nice savings! I do not have the same level of trust for adults that some might, but again, we all have our own experiences that turn us into who we are today. I’ve dealt with a lot, and adults really let me down.
I wouldn’t have included this into my list of life lessons unless I saw more of it around me, but that’s just the thing. I see it everywhere. It’s visible in parent’s choosing alcohol and parties over their children. It’s parent’s choosing their own selfish needs over the lives they brought into this world.
I suppose I should reword this life lesson. How about: Not all adults are the heroes you expect them to be. Is that more fitting? I don’t know, let me know in the comments. Have you been let down by an adult when you were growing up that it shattered your whole worldview of them?
The good news is, now that we’re adults ourselves, we can change that negative pattern and do better. 😉
5. It’s okay to follow your own path, but don’t follow your heart.
Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” Society constantly tells us to “follow your heart,” but our emotions can easily mislead us. Instead of following your heart, follow God.
Have you ever had an idea about something, but when you shared it, the people you shared it with weren’t as excited as you were? Did they tell you it was a dumb idea, or that you couldn’t do it?
This is my final life lesson learned: Who gives a heck what others think when God says you’re able? Have you tried to prove them wrong, or did you just accept that what everyone else had to say was the truth?
I hope you feel the courage to go do what YOU are called to do and not give a hoot about what anyone else thinks or has to say about it. If God calls you to something, everyone else may not agree, but they don’t need to. Be your God-following self, and let Him lead you—not your fleeting emotions, and certainly not the world.
If you want to quit your job and be a stay-at-home mom, do it. If you want to start your own business, don’t let them make you think you can’t. Don’t go become a doctor just because someone told you that’s what you needed to do.
I almost joined the military because it’s what my parents said I had to do. But they were wrong. I had a choice, and I knew that wasn’t God’s plan for my life. So I didn’t go, and I’m thankful every day.
Realizing these truths was a massive turning point on my journey to adulthood, but knowledge only matters if you put it into practice. If you’re looking for a practical, no-nonsense read on intentionality and taking ownership of your life, I highly recommend picking up Arnold Schwarzenegger’s book Be Useful: Seven Tools for Life. It’s a great reminder that shift in your life happens when you stop waiting and start serving.
I hope you found some of these life lessons helpful! Let me know in the comments which (if any) you resonated with most—I’d love to hear what you have to say!
